The Host Chapter 56: Welded

Ian glared down at the three of us with such vehemence that cheering shivered in terror. It was an odd thing-as if Kyle and Ian had switched prospects. Except Ians face was still perfect, unbroken. Beautiful, charge though it was enraged.Ian? Kyle asked, bewildered. Whats the problem?Ian verbalise from between his locked teeth. Wanda, he growled, and held his slide by erupt. It looked as if he was having a hard time keeping that hand open, not clenching it into a fist.Uh-oh, Mel thought.Misery swept through me. I didnt want to say goodbye to Ian, and directly I would wee-wee to. Of course I had to. I would be wrong to sneak out in the night manage a thief and leave all my goodbyes to Melanie.Ian, tired of waiting, grabbed my arm and hauled me up from the floor. When Sunny essaymed like she was coming along, overly, still joined to my side, Ian shook me until she fell off.What is with you? Kyle demanded.Ian hauled his knee back and smashed his piece hard into Kyles face. Ian I protested.Sunny threw herself in front of Kyle-who was holding his hand to his nose and struggling to scramble to his feet-and tried to shield him with her tiny body. This knocked him off balance, back to the floor, and he groaned.Cmon, Ian snarled, dragging me a representation from them without a reflexive glance.Ian -He wrenched me roughly along, making it impossible for me to speak. That was fine. I had no idea what to say.I saw every is floor face flash by in a blur. I was worried he was difference to roll the unnamed woman. She wasnt used to anger and violence.And then we jerked to a stop. Jared was blocking the exit.Have you lost your mind, Ian? he asked, surprise and outraged. What are you doing to her?Did you spot about this? Ian shouted back, shoving me toward Jared and shaking me at him. Behind us, a whimper. He was scaring them.Youre outlet to hurt herDo you know what shes planning? Ian roared.Jared stared at Ian, his face suddenly closed off. He didnt sett le.That was answer enough for Ian.Ians fist struck Jared so fast that I missed the blow-I just felt the spin in his body and saw Jared reel back into the dark hall.Ian, stop, I begged.You stop, he growled back at me.He yanked me through the arch into the tunnel, then pulled me north. I had to almost run to keep up with his daylong stride.OShea Jared shouted after us.Im way out to hurt her? Ian roared back over his shoulder, not open frame pace. I am? You hypocritical swineThere was nothing but silence and pitch-darkness behind us now. I stumbled in the dark, trying to keep up.It was then that I began to feel the throbbing from Ians grip. His hand was tight as a tourniquet some my upper arm, his long fingers making the circle easily and then overlapping. My hand was going numb.He jerked me along faster, and my breath caught in a moan, almost a cry of pain.The sound do Ian stumble to a stop. His breathing was hoarse in the darkness.Ian, Ian, I I choked, unable to finish. I didn t know what to say, picturing his furious face.His arms caught me up abruptly, yanking my feet out from under me and then catching my shoulders before I could fall. He started running forward once again, carrying me now. His hands were not rough and angry like before he cradled me against his chest.He ran right through the big plaza, ignoring the surprised and even suspicious faces. There was too frequently that was unfamiliar and uncomfortable going on in the caves right now. The gays here-Violetta, Geoffrey, Andy, Paige, Aaron, Brandt, and more than I couldnt visualise well as we jolted past-were skittish. It disturbed them to see Ian running headlong through them, face kinky with rage, with me in his arms.And then they were behind us. He didnt pause until we reached the doors leaning against his and Kyles room. He kicked the red one(a) out of the way-it hit the stone floor with an echoing boom-and dropped me onto the mattress on the floor.Ian stood above me, his chest heav ing with exertion and fury. For a second he turned away and put the door back in place with one swift wrench. And then he was glowering again.I took a thickheaded breath and rolled up onto my knees, holding my hands out, palms up, wishing that some magic would appear in them. Something I could guard him, something I could say. exclusively my hands were empty.You. Are. Not. Leaving. Me. His eyes blazed-burning brighter than I had ever seen them, blue flames.Ian, I whispered. You have to see that that I ignoret stay. You must see that.No he shouted at me.I cringed back, and, abruptly, Ian crumpled forward, dropping to his knees, falling into me. He buried his head in my stomach, and his arms locked around my waist. He was shaking, shaking hard, and loud, desperate sobs were breaking out of his chest.No, Ian, no, I begged. This was so much worse than his anger. Dont, please. Please, dont.Wanda, he moaned.Ian, please. Dont feel this way. Dont. Im so sorry. Please.I was crying, too, shaking, too, though that might have been him shaking me.You cant leave.I have to, I have to, I sobbed.And then we cried silently for a long time.His tears dried before mine. Eventually, he straightened up and pulled me into his arms again. He waited until I was able to speak.Sorry, he whispered. I was ungenerous.No, no. Im sorry. I should have told you, when you didnt guess. I just I couldnt. I didnt want to tell you-to hurt you-to hurt me. It was selfish.We need to talk about this, Wanda. Its not a do deal. It cant be.It is.He shook his head, clenching his teeth. How long? How long have you been planning this?Since the Seeker, I whispered.He nodded, seeming to abide this answer. And you thought that you had to give up your secret to save her. I can understand that. But that doesnt mean you have to go anywhere. Just because Doc knows now that doesnt mean anything. If Id thought for one minute that it did, that one action equaled the other, I wouldnt have stood there and let you show him. No one is going to powerfulness you to lie down on his blasted gurney Ill break his hands if he tries to touch youIan, please.They cant make you, Wanda Do you hear me? He was shouting again.No one is making me. I didnt show Doc how to do the separation so that I could save the Seeker, I whispered. The Seekers being here just made me have to decide faster. I did it to save Mel, Ian.His nostrils flared, and he said nothing.Shes trapped in here, Ian. Its like a prison-worse than that I cant even describe it. Shes like a ghost. And I can free her. I can give her herself back.You deserve a life, too, Wanda. You deserve to stay.But I warmth her, Ian.He closed his eyes, and his pale lips went deceased white.But I love you, he whispered. Doesnt that yield?Of course it matters. So much. Cant you see? That only makes it more necessary.His eyes flashed open. Is it so unbearable to have me love you? Is that it? I can keep my mouth shut, Wanda. I wont say it again. You can be with Jared, if thats what you want. Just stay.No, Ian I took his face between my hands-his skin felt hard, heavy tight over the bones. No. I-I love you, too. Me, the little silver worm in the back of her head. But my body doesnt love you. It cant love you. I can never love you in this body, Ian. It pulls me in two. Its unbearable.I could have borne it. But watching him suffer because of my bodys limitations? Not that.He closed his eyes again. His thick black lashes were wet with tears. I could see them glisten.Oh, go ahead, Mel sighed. Do whatever you need to. Ill step into the other room, she added dryly.Thanks.I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled myself closer to him until my lips affected his.He curled his arms around me, pulling me tighter against his chest. Our lips moved together, fusing as if they would never divide, as if separation was not the inevitable thing it was, and I could taste the salt of our tears. His and mine.Something began to change.When Melanies body tou ched Jareds body, it was like a wildfire-a fast burn that raced across the climb up of the desert and consumed everything in its path.With Ian it was different, so very different, because Melanie didnt love him the way I did. So when he touched me, it was deeper and slower than the wildfire, like the flow of molten rock far beneath the surface of the earth. Too deep to feel the heat of it, but it moved inexorably, changing the very foundations of the world with its advance.My unwilling body was a fog between us-a thick curtain, but gauzy enough that I could see through it, could see what was happening.It changed me, not her. It was almost a metallurgical process deep inside the core of who I was, something that had already begun, was already nearly forged. But this long, unbroken kiss finished it, searing and sharp edged-it shoved this new creation, all hissing, into the iciness water that made it hard and final. Unbreakable.And I started to cry again, realizing that it must be ch anging him, too, this man who was mixed bag enough to be a soul but strong as only a human could be.He moved his lips to my eyes, but it was too late. It was done. Dont cry, Wanda. Dont cry. Youre staying with me. octette full lives, I whispered against his jaw, my voice breaking. Eight full lives and I never found anyone I would stay on a planet for, anyone I would follow when they left. I never found a partner. wherefore now? Why you? Youre not of my species. How can you be my partner?Its a strange universe, he murmured.Its not median(a), I complained, echoing Sunnys words. It wasnt fair. How could I notice this, find love-now, in this eleventh hour-and have to leave it? Was it fair that my soul and body couldnt reconcile? Was it fair that I had to love Melanie, too?Was it fair that Ian would suffer? He deserved happiness if anyone did. It wasnt fair or right or even sane. How could I do this to him?I love you, I whispered.Dont say that like youre saying goodbye.But I had to. I, the soul called Wanderer, love you, human Ian. And that will never change, no matter what I might become. I worded it carefully, so that there would be no lie in my voice. If I were a Dolphin or a Bear or a Flower, it wouldnt matter. I would always love you, always remember you. You will be my only partner.His arms stiffened, then constricted tighter around me, and I could feel the anger in them again. It was hard to breathe.Youre not wandering off anywhere. Youre staying here.Ian -But his voice was short(predicate) now-angry, but also businesslike. This isnt just for me. Youre a part of this community, and you arent getting kicked out without discussion. You are far too important to us all-even to the ones who would never admit it. We need you.No ones kicking me out, Ian.No. Not even you yourself, Wanderer.He kissed me again, his mouth rougher with the return of the anger. His hand curled into a fist around my hair, and he pulled my face an inch away from his.Good or bad? he de manded.Good.Thats what I thought. And his voice was a growl.He kissed me again. His arms were so tight around my ribs, his mouth so fierce against mine, that I was soon goofy and gasping for air. He loosened his arms a little then and let his lips slide to my ear.Lets go.Where? Where are we going? I wasnt going anywhere, I knew that. And yet how my heart pounded when I thought of going away, somewhere, anywhere, with Ian. My Ian. He was mine, the way Jared never would be. The way this body could never be his.Dont give me any trouble about this, Wanderer. Im half(prenominal) out of my mind. He pulled us both to our feet.Where? I insisted.Youre going down the eastern tunnel, past the field, to the end.The zippy room?Yes. And then you are going to wait there until I get the rest of them.Why? His words sounded crazy to me. Did he want to play a game? To ease the tension again?Because this will be discussed. Im calling a tribunal, Wanderer, and you are going to abide by our decision.